Life style, Social Responsibilty, Stories, Uncategorized, Write Tribe Festival 2018, Writer's Challenge

The Big Dream of Little Eyes

“No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.” – Cinderella

She was 6, he was 35. She was poor, he was rich. She had dreams, he had powers. It was a marriage by force. She could have died that very night, for he was the drunkard and had no control over himself. Many of her friends had died just like that. She knew but she had hope. She wanted to become a singer, like the one whom she heard once in a moving car. That one tune she would hum each day. He brought her home like a trophy. He was busy that night with his friends, drinking and dancing. Suddenly, there was a loud sound like a bang. Someone had shot a gun in the air for celebrations. It was an accident but he died on the spot.

She was left alone but became the heiress of his assets. The old maid that looked after his house took her under her protection for she was a widow and had no children of her own. She became her guiding angel. She looked after her and arranged for her singing classes.

Her talents and hard work paid off. She got a chance to take part in a Talent Hunt show. Luck was on her side. She won the show and was known as Bhumi, the Singing Star of the year. The judge was none other than the same singer whose song she had heard in that moving car.

10 Gift Ideas for the Classy Dad

This post is written for Day 6 of the Write Tribe Festival of Words 2018.

The prompt I have taken for this post is written at the beginning of the post.


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Life style, Social Responsibilty, Stories, Uncategorized, Write Tribe Festival 2018, Writer's Challenge

The Warrior’s Journey

It was a proud moment for them, Suman was looking proudly at her daughter, Sonal, who was invited by the British High Commission to give a talk at Sarvodaya Kanya Vidyalaya School. Sonal was speaking to the girls about life and aspirations, on gender issues and was giving an inspirational talk on her own life.

Suman was sitting along with her mother and her son, Ranveer. Suman’s mother said to her, “Suman, when I look at Sonal today, all I can say is “the flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of them all”. Suman nodded her head in agreement.

She began thinking about their life 18 years back, when Sonal was 4 years old and Ranveer was 1-year-old. She used to live with her husband, Arun who was a very famous lawyer. What looked like a happy family to everybody was going through so much pain that no one could ever imagine. Arun used to beat Suman over petty issues. Even a smallest disagreement from Suman would lead bigger arguments and which often ended up Suman getting brutally beaten up by Arun.

Sonal had often seen her mother badly bruised, bleeding and sometimes with broken bones. Sonal was a chirpy and talkative little child then. But the violence that she used to witness everyday made her quiet and withdrawn. She stopped talking to anybody and stopped making any friends. Suman tried her best to make her marriage work for the sake of her kids and bore the torture quietly. Ranveer, on the other hand stopped speaking completely. However, all this did not stop Arun from beating Suman. One day, Arun threw Suman from the stairs of their house in his fit of anger. Suman’s arm got fractured due to this. Little Sonam got terrified after watching this. She couldn’t sleep at night for many days after that incident.

That was the time, when Suman decided to take a stand, not for herself but for the sake of her children. She took her children and went to her parent’s house. Her father refused to help her for the fear of society. Her mother suggested her to go to her maternal grandmother.

Her grandmother supported Suman and her kids. She asked them to live with her. Suman started living at her grandmother’s house with her two small kids who were under the trauma of the excessive abuse and violence at their house. The road was tough ahead for the three of them. Suman herself was traumatized and fearful but she did not lose hope. She had neither any money nor any job to support her two children. She started writing and became a social activist. With her love and care, her kids started coming out of the trauma.

Sonal was a bright and sincere student. She worked hard in her studies for she knew the hardships her mother was going through. With her hard work and dedication she started getting scholarships from her school and got into the most prestigious college on the basis of her scholarship.

Strong as her mother, she worked continued to work hard and won many accolades in her college as well. She got admission in one of the prestigious college of London on the basis of her scholarship and went there to study. Ranveer also grew up as a fine boy and started doing well in his studies. He received 5 academic scholarships during his 5 semesters of college. Sonal wrote various articles on domestic violence and women rights which got published and made her famous. Suman became a well-known social activist and a famous writer.

This is a true story based on the life of a dear friend of mine. I have changed the names and moderated certain facts to keep up the privacy and dignity of the family. When I look at them, all I can say is, “all rising to great places is by a winding stair”.

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Linking it up as an entry for the Day 5 of the Write Tribe Festival of Words June 2018.

I have used 2 prompts for this post: the picture prompt of the spiral staircase and the quote prompt from Mulan which is – “the flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of them all.”


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Blogs, Life style, Social Responsibilty, Stories, Uncategorized, Write Tribe Festival 2018, Writer's Challenge

Your Name is Destiny, For Destiny is in Your Own Hands

“Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.” – Brave
“Ma, see my appointment letter. They have appointed me as the customer care manager in the hotel. It’s all because of you ma.” Mrs Shekhawat was patiently listening to Niyati who was ranting about her interview details.
It was the same Niyati whom she had met fifteen years back in the village of Orissa where she was working as a social activist for the cause of poor and uneducated children. Mrs Shekhawat had very tough time in persuading her father to send her to the school established by her.
Little Niyati would often come to the school in her father’s absence. She knew what her father would do to her when he came to know about her escapades.
Once when Niyati did not come to school for many days, she went to her house to ask about her. Niyati’s father fought with her and asked her to go away. But she could not leave after she saw the sick and feeble Niyati. She almost looked half dead.

“Ma, ma! What are you thinking? Ma, I want to tell you something,” Mrs Shekhawat’s stream of thoughts was suddenly broken.

“Adi has proposed me Ma!” she paused for a while.
“That’s great Niyati. What did you say?” asked Mrs Shekhawat.

“I don’t know, ma. I don’t want to marry yet. Rather, I don’t want to marry ever.”

“Niyati, this could not be you. From when did you start saying no to life? You have always been a fighter. How can you say no when happiness is ready to embrace you? Past is dead and gone. You are the creator of your own destiny.”

“No, ma…it was all because of you.”
“No, Niyati. It was you. You yourself chose to come out of those miseries. Now, go ahead and embrace love and life with the same spirit. Create your own destiny now as you did then. Remember how you would come to the school despite the warnings of your father.”
The memory of that day was still fresh in her mind. Mrs Shekhawat had come to her house to ask for her. Her father had fought with her. Niyati gathered all her strength to go and meet her. For she knew, it was her last chance. She was barely able to walk after the cruelty of her father. Her father had come to know that she went to Mrs Shekhawat’s school in his absence. He had not only beaten her up with sticks but also forced himself upon her at night to teach her a lesson. Her mother had no courage to say anything in front of his father.
Niyati had clung to Mrs Shekhawat and cried her heart out. She told her about all her miseries and pleaded her to take her along.
Mrs Shekhawat paid five thousand rupees to her father and bought her freedom.

Your Name is Destiny, For Destiny is in Your Own Hands

This post is written as Day 3 entry for the Write Tribe Festival of Words June 2018.

#writebravely

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Children, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

5 Tips to Teach Kids About How to Save Water

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We are celebrating Earth Day this week. Just as we have started realising the importance of conservation of our natural environment and taking various steps around it, it is equally important to make kids understand it also. Children are the future of this world. It is more important for them to learn and follow the steps towards saving their environment.
Water is the most important resource and kids love to play with water. However, in this natural tendency, they tend to waste a lot of water. It is important to take necessary steps around their playing with water which should ensure that there is minimum wastage and maximum enjoyment also.

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Tips to save water for kids
1. Kids love to play while taking a bath. They love making bubbles and splashing water here and there. While giving kids a bath. Instead of giving them bath in a shower can use a tub filled with water. After bathing the child, the water can be used for washing toilets or flushing.
2. While brushing and washing their hands, they tend to leave the tap running for and play in water. We can make them understand that how it leads to wastage of water and instead keep a bucket full of water in the bathroom for washing their hands or brushing.

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3. Children drink less water at a time. If we give them a glass full of water, they leave half of it. We can keep a tumbler or a separate bottle for them and encourage them to drink from it. If they leave water in a glass, encourage them to use that water for the plants.
4. A lot of water is discarded by RO water purifiers. We can collect that water and keep it in a bucket. Let kids use that water for watering the plants or flushing purposes.
5. Tell them about various ways of recycling or reusing water. While washing pulses and vegetables, we can show them that water can be collected in a separate utensil after washing the pulses and vegetables and can be used for various other washing or cleaning purposes.

Water is important for everyone and we need to save every drop of it. If we teach our kids about saving water right from the beginning, they develop the right habits to save every single drop of it.





Blogs, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Stay at home mom vs. working mom: Neighbourhood speaks

Being a woman is difficult. At every point in time, a woman has to take some really difficult decisions and make some really difficult choices. One of these major decisions is whether to continue one’s career or not after having kids. Sometimes the decision is entirely one’s own and sometimes it is circumstantial. Whatever it might be, but it’s really unfair to be judgemental and pass harsh comments without knowing about the real reason behind.
I was a working woman when my elder one was born and continued my work for a fairly long period. But after the birth of my second one, I gave up since it was difficult for me to create a fair balance. I don’t have any regrets now and neither I am going to dwell on it for past is past. What I am going to talk about is a really funny incident which happened to me recently.

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I was visiting my mum this week and took my kids to a nearby park in the morning. While my kids were enjoying themselves on the swings, one of my mum’s old friends saw me and came to meet me. She greeted me smilingly and asked about my well being.
She continued and asked me, “So, what are you doing these days? Are you doing anything or simply sitting at home doing nothing? Why did you give up your profession despite being so qualified? You are wasting your education and all the money your parents spent on your education.” She then continued by saying, “you must learn from our mistakes. I was a teacher but left my job for my kids and now the same kids ask me that why you did not do anything. You know even your own kids consider you worthless if you are not working. It is extremely important for a woman to work for it develops the mind.”

She went on and on giving me this very valuable piece of advice while I kept questioning her remarks in my mind.
This is extremely a strange how people perceive a stay at home mother as. First of all, it is considered as a waste of education and qualification along with the ‘money’ that parents’ spend on educating their daughters. Does it really so? Does education ever gets wasted? That means we should not be educating our daughters because if they choose to stay at home after having kids, the ‘money’ and the ‘degrees’ will get wasted.
Secondly, a woman who is not ‘working’ as in the professional terms or has a job outside the house is doing ‘nothing’ and sitting idle all day long. Hmm!
Is that so? Then who is managing the house, taking care of kids, their health, education, co-curricular activities, so on and so forth?

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Third, a job is necessary for the development of mind. Okay! I definitely never knew that!
Last but not the least, since the conversation was pretty long, “kids consider a stay at home mom as worthless or do not value her.” Again, a point of disagreement there. If a woman is educated and strong, nobody can dare to consider her worthless. For when she values herself strongly, people’s reaction doesn’t matter and she definitely knows how to handle her kids.
My point is that I have been a working mom as well as a stay at home. I do think that to take a decision in either way is tough. But in the end, she knows what will work best for her family and if she decides, either way, she must be respected and supported by it.

picture courtesy: pixabay.com

This post is also published at momspresso.com

 

 

 

 

 

हिन्दी, Blogs, Life style, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

वर वधु की तलाश – विज्ञापनों के साथ बदलता समाज(एक हास्य लेख)

पहले ज़माने मे जब भी किसी मां बाप को अपनी लड़की के लिए वर की तलाश होती थी तो वे रिश्तेदारों को बोलते थे या अखबार में मैट्रीमोनीयल पर विज्ञापन देते थे। हर सप्ताह अखबार के मैट्रीमोनीयल कॉलम  मे खोज कर चार पाँच विज्ञापनों पर गोला लगाते थे और फिर उनके बारे मे जाँच पड़ताल करते थे।

तब वर के लिए नियम बहुत कम होते थे। 23 साल की कन्या के लिए वर ढूंढना हो तो 27-28 साल , सम्भ्रांत परिवार का डॉक्टर  या इंजीनियर ।

मत्रिमोनिअल १

(pic courtesy : pinterest)

एक कॉलम होता था मांगलिक या नान मांगलिक जन्म कुंडली के अनुसार। पंजाबी के लिए पंजाबी, अग्रवाल के लिए अग्रवाल। धीरे धीरे समय बदलता गया और वर के लिए योग्यताओं मे एक और नियम जुड़ गया – caste no bar यानि कि इंटर कास्ट विवाह। और इस तरह इंटर कास्ट विवाह को समाज द्वारा मान्यता मिली। 

कई विज्ञापनों मे tee-totaller की योग्यता भी मांगी गई। अजी Tee-totaller लड़के क्या, आजकल तो tee-totaller लड़कियां भी नहीं मिलती। 

समय बदला और समाज ने थोड़ी और उन्नति की। पहले लव मैरिज को उचित नहीं समझते थे यह सोच कर कि लोग क्या कहेंगे किन्तु अब माता पिता के लिए आसान हो गया। लड़की को उच्च शिक्षा दी , अच्छे पद पर नौकरी के काबिल बनाया और निश्चिंत हो गए कि अब लड़की अपने लिए पसंद का वर ढूंढ ही लेगी। 

पर यह क्या , एक और नई समस्या आने लगी कि जी लड़की की आय लड़के से ज़्यादा नहीं होनी चाहिए नहीं तो स्वाभिमान की लड़ाई शुरू हो जाएगी। लो कर लो बात अब वर वधु के बीच आई लड़की की आय व स्वाभिमान की दीवार। 


कई बार पढाई के दौरान आपसी मित्रता विवाह के बंधन तक पहुंच गई। लड़की के ब्याह की चिंता जो उसके पैदा होने पर ही सताने लगती थी, “पराया धन” समझ कर , वह चिन्ता अब समाप्त हुई। 

इस तरह कुछ चिन्ताओ से मुक्ति मिली- 

दहेज की चिन्ता नहीं ,

वर या वधु ढूंढने की चिन्ता नहीं,

लड़की को ससुराल मे आने वाली समस्या की भी चिन्ता नहीं।

समाज कितना बदल गया है। अब लड़की या लड़के के लिए जीवन साथी ढूंढना हुआ और आसान। जो पहले अखबारों तक या marriage bureau तक व मन्दिरों के पंडितों तक सीमित था अब वो social media पर छा गया।

matrimonial

(pic courtesy : adbazzaar )

 

पहले के इश्तहार आज भी याद आते हैं- 

“वर ही वर – संपर्क करें शर्मा जी से”

“रिश्ते ही रिश्ते – 28 रैगड़ पुरा” 

और अब देखिए – 

कृपया log in करें – ‘www….com’ पर।

चलिए अब कम से कम ‘रिश्ते’ ढूंढने के लिए कहीं जाने या किसी से मिलने की ज़रूरत नहीं।

मुझे याद है कुछ साल पहले पड़ोसिन ने अपनी लड़की के लिए तलाक शुदा वर ढूंढा तो सबने उसे फटकार लगाई कि तुम्हें अपनी बेटी के लिए और कोई वर नहीं मिला जो एक तलाक शुदा से अपनी बेटी की शादी करना चाहते हो? मगर आज की मैट्रीमोनियल विज्ञापन तो देखिए – 

Caste no bar

Age no bar
Marital status no bar

Kids no bar !!!

भई वाह! अब तो सबके सब ‘bar’ ही हटा दिए। मेरी सहेली ने आकर बताया कि उसकी मित्र का पति उससे दो साल छोटा है तो सब आपस मे फुसफुसाने लगे , “देखो, क्या ज़माना आ गया है। हमारे ज़माने मे तो वर की उम्र वधु से कम से कम दस साल ज्यादा होती थी वहीं अब वधू की उम्र वर से ज्यादा होने लगी। सही कहा – “age no bar” ।

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अजी ज़माना तो आपके भले के लिए ही बदला है। न दहेज की चिन्ता, न रिश्तेदारों का डर । लड़की हुई तो उसके ब्याह की भी चिन्ता नहीं, लड़की शादी करे या न करें यह भी चिन्ता नहीं, अगर ज़रूरी है तो उसकी शिक्षा , उसका स्वावलंबी होना, उसका आत्मविश्वास, शादी किसी से हो या न हो कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता।

हाँ बस अब एक ही प्रश्नचिन्ह रह गया है। पुरुष दो बच्चों के बाद भी विधुर  हो तो चाहता है कि उसे लड़की मिले जिसके बच्चे नहीं हो और वह उसके बच्चों को अपने बच्चों की तरह पाले परन्तु स्त्री के साथ ऐसा नहीं है। 

किन्तु यह अभी दूर की सोच है। फिर सोचती हूँ कि बाकी सब bar की तरह शायद यह bar भी जल्दी हट जाए और कहा जाए ‘शादी बार बार’।

Blogs, Children, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Understanding Cyber Safety and Protecting Our Kids from Online Dangers

We live in a world where we are surrounded by technology. Internet has become an essential part of our lives. With an easy access to internet, we can enter a whole new world of knowledge, resources and social media. This is the digital world where we can enter with a simple swipe of screen. This lucrative and highly useful digital world is never free from its potential threats and dangers. The most vulnerable victims of this digital world are our kids.

Our innocent kids get easily lured by the videos, images and animations shown to them over the mobiles. They get easily attracted and addicted to the online content being shown to them. Therefore, it becomes highly important to protect them from the various cyber dangers and ensure their online safety.

What is cyber safety and why is it so important?

From the very beginning we become extremely careful with kids. We try to protect them in our best possible way from any danger. We even teach our kids about keeping themselves safe in and out of the house. Just like our world, the digital world is also full of threats, predators, thieves and other bad elements. People try to hack our accounts, steal our identities, and sneak into our private lives and of course, the exposure to inappropriate content.

Children learn to swipe the screens of the mobiles even before they learn to speak clearly. They recognise the icons and know how to play the content of their choice. That is where the problem starts. We think and ensure ourselves that our child is merely watching his favourite cartoon and leave our phones in their custody. But the child might accidentally misprint something or click on the content which he or she must not be exposed to.

Recently, we came to know about the infamous ‘Blue Whale Challenge’ and how teenagers have started committing suicide because of that. That is just one example of how dangerous the digital world can be and how vulnerable our kids are.

kids-on-computers

What are the various Cyber Dangers?

There can be various kinds of cyber dangers. To name a few:

1.  Exposure to inappropriate or adult content

2.  Cyber bullying or cyber harassment from others online

3.  Eye strain or wrist strain

4.  Internet addiction

5.  Bad websites like chat room, computer games which might have adult content and other social networking sites.

 

Five Golden Rules for entering the digital world

Just like we teach our kids certain rules for their safety. There are certain rules which we need to teach our kids for ensuring cyber safety.

1)  Don’t give out personal information like address or phone number.

2)  Don’t send our pictures of yourself to anyone especially indecent pictures.

3) Don’t open emails or attachments from persons you don’t know.

4)  If there is anything that you see or read online, worries you, tell someone about it.

5)  Never arrange to meet someone in person whom you have met online.

 

Ten tips to ensure online safety of our kids

1. Use an internet security suite on all the computers you own.

2. Keep your home network secured with a good password and security settings.

3. Learn to avoid clicking links, ads and emails from people you don’t know.

4. Use a good password which is unique and complex on all your devices and accounts. It should have a good combination of alphabets, numbers and special characters.

5. Talk to your kids about avoiding cybercrime and tell them to be cautious.

6. Advise your kids never to share passwords, not even with close friends.

7. Teach your children to log out of computers after finishing their work.

8. Use the security and privacy settings on all your social networks and all accounts to limit who can access your posts.

9. Learn about parental control settings for all your devices.

10. Talk to your kids regularly about how to use technology.

With these measures in mind, try to keep your kids safe online. Be alert and be cautious before handing out any gadgets to your kids because you never know who might try to harm them and where.

I am writing this post for #MMM #MondayMommyMoments. This post is in link up with Deepa Gandhi and Dr Amrita Basu

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Blogs, Life style, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

The Glitz and Glam of Navratris in Delhi

 

Navratras are just around the corner and Delhi is all geared up to celebrate this much awaited festival with great grandeur and style. Delhi is at its shimmery best to fight the battle of good over evil and celebrate the nine avatars of Goddess Durga.

Navratras begin with “Kalasha sthapana”. It means installing a pot with holy water. The pot containing holy water is considered as the symbol of Goddess Durga. It is placed in the puja room and worshipped for nine days. On this day, barley seeds are sown as “khetri”. By the end of the navratras, these seeds grow into 3-5 inches long shoots. These are taken out and distributed as a form of blessing.

khetri

(Pic Courtesy: google plus)

A very important aspect of Navratri celebrations is the fasting. Many people observe fast for the whole navratris but there are many who cannot fast for so many days. They observe fast as a couple. On the last day of the navratras, any two members of the house observe fast for one day.

Kirtans are organised on a daily basis in temples on a large scale. Ladies form groups or kirtan mandalis and perform kirtan and puja in their houses.

The evenings witness Ramleela. Sharad Navratras are synonymous with Ramleela which is organised at a very large scale in various parts of Delhi. Ramleela, is the theatrical performance of the story of Ramayana. The city’s highlights at this time are the Ramleela performance and the Diwali Melas organised at various parts of Delhi.

Alongwith, the Diwali melas and Ramleela which have always been very popular, another major event which has started gaining popularity is the Dandiya Nights.

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(Pic courtesy: India TV)

The love for shimmer, music and dance has led to Dandiya nights getting popular in Delhi. The nine days of Navratris give Delhiites a reason to deck up in their most shimmering outfits and hit the dance floors with dandiyas in their hands.

The last day of the navratri is celebrated as “Kanjak” or “kanya pujan”. Kanjak is celebrated in temples as well as in houses. Young girls are invited in the houses, their feet are washed. A holy thread called “mouli” is tied on their wrists. Tilak is applied on their forehead. They are given puri halwa as a form of blessing.

Navratras are considered as highly auspicious days. It is believed that if you have to start anything new, may be a new business venture or buy a new vehicle, property or jewellery, then navratras are the best days to start. Navratras also mark the beginning of the wedding season in Delhi. All the wedding functions start with “Mata ki Chowki”, which is conducted during the navratras.

The markets are flooded with red chunaris, food items which are eaten during the navratris, things related to navaratri puja. Another thing, which is very famous is the “navratri special thalis” served in restaurants. The “navratri thalis” have become so famous that even those who are not fasting during these days opt for them during the Navratras.

Delhi looks at its best and sets the mood for the festive season beginning with navratras. All the new ventures which were put on hold and were waiting for the auspicious days, the weddings, functions, not to forget the shopping spree will all begin during the navratras. Delhi is going to be fully decked up and Delhiites will be seen glittering and sparkling.

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(Pic Courtesy: Indian Express)

 

हिन्दी, Blogs, Life style, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

सास बहु कैसे बने सहेली, रिश्तों की सबसे बड़ी पहेली

सभी रिश्तों में सबसे उलझा एवं मुश्किल रिश्ता होता है सास बहु का। दो औरतें जब बहनें हों, मित्र हों, पार्क में रोज़ मिलती हों; एक प्यारा सा रिश्ता अकसर बनाने में सफल हो जाती हैं। पर न जाने क्यूँ जब वे सास बहु बनती हैं तो चाहते हुए भी वैसा रिश्ता नहीं बना पाती।

आज कल सास बहु का रिश्ता काफी बदल रहा है किन्तु अभी भी कहीं बहु के मन में और कहीं सास के मन में एक उम्मीद बनी रहती है कि काश हमारी बहु बेटी की तरह होती। कहते हैं कि ताली दोनों हाथों से बजती है, यह सच है। जब तक दोनों अपना हाथ आगे नहीं बढाएंगी तब तक ताली नहीं बजेगी और दोनों सहेली नहीं बन पाएगी।

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इसके कुछ कारण जो मैं समझती हूं वो है –

1. इसका पहला कारण है कि दोनों एक दूसरे को समझ नहीं पाती। मां अपने बच्चे को शुरु से ही देखती आ रही है इसलिए वह उसकी अच्छाई व बुराई सब समझ पाती है। सास बहु का रिश्ता एक दम नया होता है, इसलिये समय तो देना चाहिए।

2. दो घरों की विविधता इस रिश्ते में कठिनाई का कारण बनती हैं, चाहे वह समान धर्म के लोग हों या अलग धर्म के। पौधे का हवा पानी बदलता है तो वो मुरझा जाता है। एक नव विवाहिता भी उसी पौधे के समान होती है।

3. उम्र का फर्क भी बहुत मायने रखता है। बड़े लोग आसानी से अपने आप को बदल नहीं पाते और उनमें एक आधिपत्य की भावना होती है, फिर वह मां ही क्यों न हो। ऐसे में बहु की महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका होती है। बहु को थोड़ा समझना चाहिए।

4. अहम को छोड़ देना चाहिए। जब तक “मैं” रहेगी, चाहे वह सास मे हो या बहु मे, रिश्ता कभी नहीं बन पाएगा। एक ने कही दूसरे ने मानी, इसी का नाम बुद्धिमानी। किन्तु कोई ज़रूरी नहीं कि हर बार न चाहते हुए भी हां करें। चार बार कहना मानें तो एक बार नहीं भी मानेंगे तो चलेगा।

5. बच्चों से सीखना चाहिए। अभी झगड़ा हुआ और अभी मेल मिलाप हो गया। कभी किसी बात पर वाद विवाद हो भी जाए तो उसको भूलना ही बेहतर है। यदी उस झगड़े को लेकर आगे बढेंगे तो कभी दोस्त नहीं बन पाएंगे।

6. किसी भी रिश्ते में मर्यादा का ध्यान रखना ज़रूरी होता है। हर व्यक्ति का अपना द्रष्टिकोण होता है। उसके द्रष्टिकोण को भी उतनी ही एहमियत देनी चाहिए जितनी स्वयं को। झुकने मे कोई व्यक्ति छोटा नहीं हो जाता।

7. अपनी गलतियों को भी देखना व पहचानना चाहिए और सुधारना चाहिए और जितनी जल्दी हो सके माफी मांगना चाहिए।

8. किसी भी रिश्ते मे 100 प्रतिशत तो नहीं मिलते। इसलिए यदि जो हमारी ओर से 50% है, यदि हम वो सारा दे दें तो दूसरी ओर से 25% तो मिल ही जाएगा। 75% अच्छा होने से वह रिश्ता अच्छा ही होता है।

9. सास , बहु और वो। यह वो हर जगह परेशान करता है। पति, पत्नी और वो के रिश्ते की तरह इस रिश्ते में भी कोई तीसरा आए, चाहे वो कोई भी हो तो मन मुटाव बढ़ जाता है। किसी दूसरे की बात पर ध्यान न देकर आपसी मत भेद को आपस मे ही मिटाए तो अच्छा रहता है। फोन पर कभी सास अपनी बेटी से या बहु नी मां से अगर एक दूसरे की बुराई करें तो वह भी दरार का कारण बनती है। यहां तक कि पति और ससुर को भी इस रिश्ते से दूर रखना चाहिए।

10. बहु की बेटी से या दूसरे कि बहुओं से और सास की मां से या फिर दूसरे की सास से तुलना न करें। आशाएं न रखें। किसी ने कुछ कर दिया तो भी अच्छा और अगर न किया तो भी अच्छा। उनकी क्षमता को देखते हुए व्यवहार करना चाहिए। क्षमता से बाहर तो मां भी अपनी बेटी को मना कर देती है। यदि मां डांटें तो कोई बात नहीं और यदि सास ने कुछ कहा तो मुहल्ले मे ढिंढोरा पीट दिया, ऐसा भी नहीं होना चाहिए।

जानती हूँ कि कहना आसान होता है पर करना मुश्किल, फिर भी कोशिश तो करी जा सकती है आखिर घर भी हमारा है और रिश्ते भी। और वैसे भी, तोड़ने से बेहतर तो जोड़ना ही है।

Blogs, Children, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Parent Teacher Relationship: Don’t criticize, Lets Coordinate

 This post was first published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/parent-teacher-relationship-don-t-criticise-lets-coordinate

The Conversation that rules:

Every day, when I go to pick up my daughter from the bus stop, a general discussion starts among the mothers. It generally revolves around their ward’s school performance and most importantly their teachers. Often the mothers accuse the teachers for their children’s unsatisfactory academic performance.

A common conversation is heard:

Mother 1: “How’s the new class teacher of your child? My daughter’s teacher is very strict. Yesterday, she scolded her for no reason.”

Mother 2: “Even my child’s teacher is not good. She doesn't acknowledge his good work. He has improved his handwriting so much but the teacher doesn't even appreciate her efforts. At least, one star or smiley can be given to boost the confidence.”

Mother 3: “Teachers these days are least bothered. They don't even teach well. I have hired a tutor for my son.”

The Constant Judgement:

Just then the bus arrives, mothers immediately ask their children,

“What happened in school today? What did Ma’am say? Did she scold you even today?” Based on the child’s remarks, they form a judgement about the teachers. If the child says, “Ma’am appreciated me in front of the whole class”, the teacher is termed as “good”. Sometimes children accuse teachers for being unfair and biased. “My teacher always appreciates Jasmine, she never gives me stars.” Parents immediately label the teacher as “ineffective” or “partial”. This way we constantly judge the teachers.

Similarly, the teachers also judge the parents based on the child’s uniform, behavior, homework, projects, handwriting, etc. If the child’s handwriting is good, notebooks are neat and clean, the teacher thinks that the parents are involved in the child’s education. The parents are “good”, if the child’s homework is “good”.

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The Blame Game:

If there is some problem with the child, the teacher often blames the parents as being irresponsible and negligent. They would immediately call the parents to rectify it. The parents also accuse the teacher as being inefficient if their child’s results are unsatisfactory. They blame the teachers for their child’s poor grades and bad behavior. They want the teacher to be changed. This kind of mistrust and lack of respect for each other adversely affects the child.

At home front also, a similar scenario exists. Whenever the child gets poor grades or misbehaves, parents blame each other and holds the other responsible for it.

Whenever the parents and the teacher blame each other for the child’s misconduct, the one who suffers the most is the child. The child begins to disrespect and disobey the teachers and the parents.

Forming a Team:

Parents and teachers share the same goal i.e. the overall development of the child. When they share the same goal, they should form a team and work together to achieve it. Instead of judging and blaming each other, they should trust and respect each other. This way the child will also learn to respect and obey them. The child will also learn to trust them and stop complaining about them.

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Communication and Coordination:

Teachers and parents must have a positive and regular communication. In this way, they can establish a healthy relationship and diminish blaming. Teachers can communicate with the parents about the strengths and weaknesses of the child. Similarly, the parents can also communicate with the teachers about the problems which might be affecting the child’s performance and behavior in school. Similarly, the parents should trust and help each other in the upbringing of the child at home. In this way, they can have a coordination which can do wonders for the betterment of the child.

Would you like to read more about teachers? Read this wonderful blog by Charu Sareen Gujjal here.